Don't Know Much

When I first decided to blog, there were many things I wanted this blog to be. I wanted to have things in writing for just me. I wanted to share just in general. Because of my duties at home, I don't always feel I have the time to talk on the phone and I was hoping to make up for some of those times of connecting. I also wanted this to be a refuge for those who would come and have them remember the Father that we have who loves and walks and struggles with us through this life. I wanted that to be palpable. So I want the topics to be real and pertinent. That being said I read an article yesterday about the 5 most important things to remember to do in your marriage or something like that. I think marriage is one of the most pertinent topics on my list. It was a good reminder of some things. I take advice from most anywhere and try to pick through so I don't throw the meat out with the bones, so to speak. But of course after reading I started to take stock. How are Jonathan and I doing? Are we doing this thing right? Are we failing miserably but in denial? I think our marriage is in pretty good shape. There are always things to improve upon. Since we have been married something that has struck me is the amount of weddings we have attended. It's funny to now have my daughters watching me during a ceremony to see have I started crying yet. I used to watch television shows and wonder about that. Why do women cry at weddings? It's not sad! So why do I cry? Well let me tell you first about this last wedding we went to and prayerfully I can shed some light on this. The last wedding we attended was of a young lady who we love dearly and a young man we also love who come from families that we love and admire. We have been excited since the announcement. This was one wedding we would not have missed for anything! So sitting there, that lovely fall afternoon, the wedding began but not at all like any other wedding we had attended. Although all the people getting married that we have known have been believers these two young people had decided to model the coming of Messiah for His bride in their ceremony. So she waited at the alter for her groom to arrive. As the shofar blew he came forward and that was just the beginning. OK so as I start to tear up even now at the very thought of the picture they painted for us that day, I realized at that moment why I cry. I cry because I SEE. Growing up I don't remember attending very many weddings at all. A matter of fact I can count on my hand how many I went to. My parents marriage was not a good one. I also didn't see many marriages up close and personal that made me desire to be married. I wonder if my parents had known or seen what I did that day would it have helped them focus more on this very serious covenant we have called marriage. Weddings are a celebration, yes! Two people coming together to share their love and say to the world this is whom I will spend the rest of my life with. Beyond that, weddings have for me become a reminder of so much more. As I sit in the seat of the onlooker I am reminded of how Jonathan and I started. It was shaky. Not fairy tale at all. But what our Father has done is beyond wonderful! We see Him all through our years together. Two very clueless people slowly having this marriage mystery and the weight and depth of it revealed in every passing year. We are so aware of what we are modeling. We still don't get it right much of the times(I am more guilty of that than my husband), but we understand what this marriage is supposed to be so much more than just two people loving each other so much. Our love runs out. Weddings are a scope for us to look through and see through the eyes of our Creator. Weddings are an oasis where we can be refreshed and filled with the Love that is able to sustain a marriage. It will never be human love that can do that. As these two young people shared their vows, which were entirely from scripture I was moved to do something I wish I would have known to do when I married my wonderful groom. As I sat the next morning having my quiet time I felt led to write vows. Loving my husband was not something I really knew how to do in the beginning but as it is revealed to me I can start today or tomorrow whenever I get it. I don't have to continue in the direction i am going. When the Father reveals some way that I have not been loving Jonathan well I can vow right then. I can confess when I see the shortcoming and I ask for forgiveness from Jonathan or my children even, when they have been witness to my bad behavior. What I know is we can start today! Looking to our Creator and asking Him for guidance and forgiveness for the ways we fall short in modeling out marriage in a truly biblical way. We can start today loving better than we did yesterday and vowing to do what we may not have been doing for however long. I am so thankful for every couple that has had a ceremony that has encouraged me, convicted me, refreshed me in the relationship that I cherish most on this earth. I love Jonathan, my groom! Besides my Savior he is my most precious treasure in this world. Today I vow to be better at loving, honoring, and respecting him than I did yesterday. Looking back over the article, that was the meat. Be intentional about your marriage and don't let it ever be something that is not a priority. Marriage is hard work and takes two people who are willing to do the work. Most importantly, I think if you are not able to SEE what marriage is really about and understand what we are to be mirroring in our marriages, you are doomed to fall short more than succeed. Our own love,in our own strength is not enough;it never has been and never will be.