Hot Water Cornbread

The other night as I was making dinner, I remembered that I had intended to have cornbread but it was now a little late to start because dinnertime was fast approaching and the natives were growing restless. For some years I had been remembering my mama making hotwater cornbread and really wanted to know how to make it myself. I knew it was simple; only a couple of ingredients but I couldn't remember exactly what those were and sometimes other recipes were popping in my mind and it was getting all muddled. On tonight I did what I sometimes do when I can't remember a recipe in detail I went to the computer to see if something would jar my memory. Well I simply typed in "hot water corn bread" and to my delight up popped a page of recipes. Now I know the computer is this tool that has become the cornerstone of communication and information in our age but sometimes I still get a little amazed at just how easy it is to find the answers to totally obscure questions in zero seconds. What started creeping into my mind as I stood at the stove beaming as the hotwater cornbread was sizzling was the computer can be completely oxymoronic at times. The common phrase "how could something so good be so bad" also came to my rememberance and all the funny illustrations that had been used to prove some examples of this question. I use the computer for recipes and email and it is a huge part of our homeschool day but this very same instrument has been the tool by which children were lured into dangerous scenarios and husbands and wives found the means to stray, and many people have been duped into giving too much information leaving them vulnerable and sometimes penniless because they seem totally willing to give up so much to this screen with nobody attached. So I pose the ponder: what is something we don't ever have to measure out or limit our time because it is never too much of a good thing and it doesn't seduce us with good things and flip the script leaving us damaged?

Sitting outside my mom's kitchen some years ago I remember the first time she made this very simple and quick dish of hot water corn bread for me and I couldn't get enough. There were weeks when it seemed I would ask for it everyday. Most of us know that anything that appeals to our appetites most likely needs moderating. The computer is no different. I admit to having days when it feels like without the computer my life would be lost. Now we do use it for school. My children have about 70% of their books online for school. Our homeschool group communicates through email and facebook. But there are days I am not on the computer to gather necessary information but to just zone out from a stressful and hectic day. At those moment the computer becomes a divisive tool pulling me away from the family that I love and serve. It is so easy for me to look for music for my ipod for my run tomorrow, recipes for meals or searching for that homeschool book that I need because it leaves me in a bubble with an excused "mommy is busy" answer to my children. Nothing wrong with doing any of these things except at times I use this wonderful tool to run away and escape. James 1:17 Every good and perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of lights, with whom is no fickleness neither shadow of turning. So is the computer bad? no not necessarily but it appeals to our selfness and allows us to feel connected yet disonnects us all at the same time. Fickled. The gifts that come from G-d we don't ever have to decipher how much we need, how to use them for good and or how to keep them balanced. Besides Christ himself, the very best gift that He gave, if we sought after it "like hidden treasures" we would have so much less time to sit at the computer, eat too much, watch too much television, exercise too much or work too much. It truly is amazing how compulsive we can become about all sorts of things. G-d's Word doesn't appeal to our senses but it does grow our spirits so although the desire may not be there to begin with you will find the more you read it the more you want to read it. The hard step is stepping away from everything else to make this your choice for your appetite even when you feel hungry for something else. That something else might give you indigestion but "Give us this day our daily bread"....and we might find that we have been starving for something that is too good!

No Crucifixion......?

So after months of pondering "should I really start blogging?", wondering was there some hidden motive behind my desire or if this was just some silly whim that had been placed into my head because of the excess of bloggees these days (like maybe I caught a cold) I have come to the decision that I would, indeed, go forward in this endeavor. One of the biggest obstacles that I faced was when to start. Let me tell you a little about myself. Using my friend's words: I see poetically. More simply put I am always writing. Sometimes I actually stop to put something on paper but there are most days when I just wonder how long it would take me to get it all down and it is way too overwhelming. A little more about me I am also thoughtful. I don't mean the kind that is thinking of other people's needs(which I do but that doesn't apply here). I am more brooding, that is deep in thought about life whether it be people, family, G-d, or anything else that may come up. Well, why after brooding did I come up with this particular day to start? Shouldn't it be some monumental moment in time? A triumphant success or joyous occasion should certainly mark "the beginning" of my blogging days.
Some people who know me understand that this would seem like the worst possible time to start. I have over the past few months been absolutely bombarded with trials. I cannot even begin to tell you all of them, because it is a lot and it would ruin posts of future topics, but there are many. Yesterday as an update on one such trial was reported to me it felt like the proverbial straw. My little girls playing all around me, I left them to go to the bathroom and cry and get down on my knees and talk to the G-d, who at that moment I was convinced had left me, to handle all this messiness alone. The pain that overcame me I cannot even begin to describe and as I literally cried like a baby because it hurt so bad the pain didn't go away. I walked out of the bathroom puffy eyed and got ready to leave to go do my motherly tasks. There are times when the G-d of the universe seems to step off His throne and come down and talk to me. Sitting at my computer something happened. Driving down the highway something happened. Many years ago before I was born something happened. The Cross. The Cross. The Cross. Phillipians 3:10 says that I may know Him, and the power of his resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings, being made comformable unto his death and 1 Peter 4:13 says But rejoice, inasmuch as ye are partakers of Christ's sufferings; that, when his glory shall be revealed, ye may be glad also with exceeding joy. I started to look at my life from some odd perspective that was or at least appeared outside myself. My life, began at the moment where a man walked to his death carrying a cross that he would eventually be nailed to, raised high into the air and give up his life. The man who is my Savior endured pain that, even in these most difficult trials that I am facing, I have not known. The cross is not pretty or pleasant and neither is my life right now. I feel bloodied and bruised. I am tired and sweaty and exhausted. There are times, right now, where I feel like I can barely crawl let alone run this race. But the race is not given to the swift or to the strong. I think over the passages where I have read the account of my Savior on that day when he would give the ultimate sacrifice for us. He was bruised and beaten. He was exhausted and sweaty. He was thirsty and was being taunted and teased the whole long road before he actually made it to the destination and then he was nailed on a tree. But I understand something about that death: true life starts at the moment when you are truly able to grasp the concept of the Cross. The same way the crucifixion really means life for us is the same way I desire my suffering to stand for something more than the pain.
So I take this opportunity to start this journey of blogging. There are no hidden motives and no I didn't "catch" a blog. I believe the cross is as monumental and joyous an occasion as we can have. To any who would stop by I pray that you would see a beautiful story of Love, Life and Light. My life is what it is because of who my Savior is no more and definitely nothing less!

I would also like to take this opportunity to thank the first pastor I ever had and the seeds he planted in my life. He went to be with the L-rd today. I will forever be grateful for your heart for me and all those who sat under your teaching.