Time flies. I can't believe that it has already been just about 3 months since my littlest daughter was born. Chai is my little precious petite princess. In every way she is such a girly girl already. I love her! I have said many times before that all of my children are gifts from my Heavenly Father and it seems that is a point that gets drilled home with each baby; like an exclamation point to a sentence. I have not always valued life the way I do now. As a little girl I dreamed of having babies-lots of babies. As I grew that dream slowly drifted away and the idea of motherhood seemed almost abhorrent. I didn't even like holding babies. I was that stereotypical young woman holding a baby as far away from my body as my arms could stretch and asking someone to take "it" after not something that could be considered a second. I didn't really see people having babies and certainly not intentionally. The babies I saw being born were usually "accidental" Having babies didn't seem an honorable thing. My, how the mighty have fallen! What I have found is that my Savior was gracious to me. In giving me the greatest gift beside His own life I look back on that woman and see my Savior's mighty hand at work. As I hold Chai and nurse her and my 22 month old lays his head on my knee and I stroke his hair to calm him for a nap I see it. As my daughters gather in the kitchen to try a new recipe and stop to do ballet jumps in the middle of the floor. As my first and oldest "baby" of 15 tells me about some song that he heard that he really likes, I see it. I see how much I needed these babies. I needed them to be able to look beyond myself. I needed them to teach me sacrifice. I needed them to teach me that there was a greater purpose than my all important goals. I have become a person that I don't recognize and I know only my Father is able to do such things in a manner that is gentle and beautiful. My children are truly my greatest joy in life and for those that know me it doesn't matter what stress or difficulty I feel in the course of a day, when my day is done and I take a breath I still believe this is the most wonderful life I could possibly have. Believing truly that children are a blessing from the Most High makes me treasure the days that I have. Right now I am sleep deprived. I am exhausted as I try to get my house back in an order where we can function and have a schedule that runs smoothly. I have some of the typical postpartum issues: this isn't fitting and my hair is weird. I am also pretty sure Boaz and Chai tag team to see how frazzled I can get when they both decide to NEED me at the same time. On the other side of that none of it matters too much. My Father knew what I needed with my very self-centered, spoiled self was babies to put it all in perspective. I thank Him for a change of mind and a change of heart. Bonus is that I have been able to teach my children through my actions what a gift children really are and watch them ooh and aah over babies no matter whose they are. He is amazing in providing the cure for the sickness of sin in places we don't know exist. Hindsight is truly 20/20.

Motherhood:the greatest gift I have ever received.

got 20?

Well now that you have waited way longer than I intended, I thought I would start with one of the most practical things I learned at the Teaching Them Diligently conference. First, let me say how grateful I am for women who are walking in their calling of wife and mother and are so generous to share what they have learned. Sometimes the information and experiences they share are mind blowing and life shattering but sometimes they are so simple you might wonder why you never thought of the idea yourself. I have, myself, have had to fight off, the "duh syndrome" a few times and focus on the fact that we all have gifts and talents and mine is not always in the way of family management innovations. I encourage myself by knowing that I am bright enough to know when I come across a good thing and to go ahead and give credit to where credit is do, thank that innovative mind, whoever they may be and move forward with the plan. I also know how to improve on a good thing so that it becomes a custom fit for my family. This practical tip was not mind blowing but was definitely a little astonishing in how simple yet helpful it was in having a smooth and easy day. I do not come from a large family. This means a lot because a messy house was never something I really experienced. There might be a messy room sometimes (mine mostly) but not the whole house at once appearing to look like a hurricane hit it. When my children were younger it was so much easier to keep it contained; they stayed in one area, usually together and I was the one who dealt with the rest of the chores but now as there are bigger people that has changed. Free range along with different interest and projects and let's face it being a homeschool family means are house, on most occasions, is everything to us. It is our library, restaurant, play room, craft room, church and then it also serves the purpose of every other house just no breaks because we are here ALL day. I was getting a little discouraged in how to keep a tidy house, not spotless, not perfect, just tidy. With the birth of baby number 5 I started to realize that I wasn't enlisting help as much as I should. Also there are things that need to be done that I can't exactly put on a list. The revolutionary answer that was unearthed at the conference from the wonderful blog Raising Arrows writer Amy was these short spurts of cleaning. I can't remember how many minutes she did but I dubbed ours the

20 minute Tidy. I liked the sound of it and the time is just right. I can set the timer for 20 minutes when a room is at that "I just can't take it anymore" state or just when it needs to be taken care of and we don't have a lot of time but it hasn't had any attention and we can totally transform it: in just 20 minutes.And because we are following Charlotte Mason in our educational approach, the atmosphere of my home being peaceful and inviting is so important. I am not a person that functions well when my house looks like it "threw up" on itself. I can't think and organize my thoughts well enough to teach when there is chaos around me. This one small addition to how we clean truly has been a life send. If we do two a day it is usually enough to make our house an acceptable amount clean so that we can have a smooth and easy day and if someone happens to stop by I don't feel like I have to run them off before they even get out of the car or give that whole speech of why the house looks the way it does. With a 20 minute Tidy we can get to all the rooms of the house in a week, so even on weeks like this, when we are gearing up for recital and our minds are not really focused on home we don't come home after everything is over and wonder when the slobfather showed up and demolished our home. Simple solutions like these are so wonderful because there is no start up "cost" you can just jump right in. We did and it has been awesome! Hope this is encouraging to those of you who have asked me to share. There is more to come! Happy tidying!

Unicorns, I love them!

Today, instead of a ponder, this is going to be more of a rant. I told my husband yesterday that when I see things up on Facebook that bother me and I really want to state All of my opinion, as I have gotten angry, because what I see is just so utterly enraging, I was going to put up the status: Unicorns, I love them. This would be the equivalent of me biting my tongue. I am very opinionated but also old enough to know everyone doesn't need to nor do they desire to hear my opinion. I also hate to argue so when I state my opinion, I want it to just stay right there, like the proverbial all-knowing wisdom that it is. LOL! All that said, I really do like Facebook for so many reasons that are obvious. It is often the way I stay in the know about many things that are valuable to my everyday life. I also hate it. There are times I read post or articles that just don't put me in my "happy place". This is why my husband and I had to get a Facebook divorce. I wanted my page to be a pleasant place. Jonathan doesn't need that. He likes the hot topics and telling his opinion. Then there are post like yesterday and continuing on today that just incense me. So now after I have tried to get my thoughts together so they would be cohesive, I think I am ready to be mature and share so that I don't damage more than I shed light. Meaning I don't want you to just be angry after you read I want it to be more than that. The reason why this whole nonsense regarding the Clippers guy and his mistress aren't enraging me the way it seems to enrage other people that share my same hue is because I don't consider racism a bigger sin than adultery. Actually it is quite the opposite. I am more infuriated by the fact that this man is cheating on his wife who seems to just allow it and then there is the mistress and the fact that with all the gifts she has received has never once said there was a gun being held to her head that made her shack up with a man who is not her husband. Adultery is wrong. And at what point does she apologize for the cheating, the absolute prostituting of herself and let's not mention the fornication with other men, which her "main squeeze" sugar daddy seems to be ok with? What in the world? What some very old man calls "black" people does not in the least bother me. I have a father who is slightly younger than "said" racist and I know what my daddy calls white people and I most certainly remember his brother and my grandfather having very fancy names for most cultures that did not include ours. They came from a different time. It was much more racially tense and titles were given then that I think are terrible. I don't condone it but I have to try to understand it from their perspective. Why have we decided to fall hook, line, and sinker for this nonsense. As I ran this morning trying to settle my mind around my feelings and what I was really angry about here is where I ended up. When I run down my road there are Indian Paintbrushes that sprinkle one of the nearby pastures. Now I could look and see weeds; that seems to be what many would call them but instead I see it as a beautiful sign of spring. I see egrets that are in the pastures with the cows. They are a beautiful white bird who quite frankly follow after where the cattle are to get to the bugs that get unearthed. With this very messy media situation I can't get that enraged because here is what I have seen and encounter for myself. Most of my dearest friends are what our language would label as white. And while I could focus on the few incidents of racism that come up in the media what I see is beautiful friends who are "white" who love me and my family and I have never felt any racial tension of any kind. My friends have washed my clothes, brought me meals, cared for my children, prayed for me, and let me cry on their shoulder. I have seen babies born and so much more. All that and I have reciprocated in many of the same ways. We have exchanged gifts and memories and life. Racism exist and has existed for a long time and will always exist. Because it is SIN. We, as people, find reasons to hate other people for a myriad of reasons. I am so glad that I have the opportunity to point out the beauty that our Father has given because even in this very sinful and fallen place where we live if we can't see the beauty we can't see the hope. And our hope is in Him who brought us out of darkness into His marvelous light. That light shines brightest on the things which show Him not the things which, I know, he hates. 2 Timothy 3 gives us a clear indication of what this media storm is really about." This know also, that in the last days perilous times shall come. For men shall be lovers of their own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blashphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, without natural affection,truce breakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good, traitors, heady, highminded, lovers of pleasures more than lovers of Yahweh" Yeah so about that "racism" thing.

Savouring Crunchy: One bite at a time

This is the first of my crunchy post and I am so super excited! I have never called myself crunchy but now since someone else actually used that term to describe me, I am happy to embrace what I kind of suspected for sometime now. So as I proudly display my banner I am happy to talk about my favorite crunchy find to date. I feel a little like Dr. Frankenstein even though I just found this didn't really invent it but let me explain. On our road to peculiar, health has been a very real conviction of mine, and my husband has finally come to see some of the benefits. With much of our modern conveniences, we have thrown out the baby with the bath water. I love technology and so many of our medical advances on one hand but on the other hand well....? Let me give you an example. We have a Creator who made our bodies to do amazing things like fight off sickness, by way of fever, but from the time we have babies doctors are telling us to give our babies Tylenol so that the fever will go down. Well if the body has a natural mechanism that calls "all hands on deck" in the fight against whatever foreign body has invaded why do we try and mask it with a pill to feel better about the number on the thermometer. We should be excited(in a sense) that the immune system is doing its job. So many other examples, but just one more to make my point for today's post. For some reason we have launched an all out war against sweat. I understand that sweat can be a tad bit offensive to the nose at times BUT hear me out. It is NATURAL and beyond that it is medicinal! It is one of the ways our bodies get rid of toxins. Our skin, the biggest organ we have, is helping our bodies to clean itself and function properly. I say all that to say, antiperspirant is probably one of the worst things you could use under that very sensitive part of your body, where lots of toxin release is happening in the form of sweat-especially for men but also for women, it is an entry way to other very delicate areas like our breasts and I don't really need to tell you about the fight against breast cancer. My husband FINALLY noticed that even when you wash a shirt that has antiperspirant without giving it special attention under the arm area you will have a clean shirt with antiperspirant under the arm. Many times you can even smell it if you wear some of those special scented varieties. So it has been 5 years- not exaggerating-of my husband and I going back and forth waiting for me to give him something that work. We have tried LOTS of different "natural" deodorants and they have all failed. I know..... I smelled. He did finally knock down his expectations to just not wanting to stink and let go of the whole idea of not sweating. Because say it with me "it is NATURAL" to sweat and if you are doing something physical enough to be sweating profusely, then why shouldn't you? I don't think most of us need to concern ourselves with breaking out into a waterfall sweat session in the middle of: let's say the opera, unless you become ill and well, once again you really have to be thankful your body is telling you something very important like LEAVE NOW! So last week, talking to a lady I met, she told me of a recipe and then I looked it up. Why I have never thought of this I don't know but I so glad I finally did. If you take 2 of the "trinity" of most "natural" products and add cornstarch or arrowroot and throw in an essential oil of your choosing what do you get? YES!!!! a deodorant that passes the hubby test! Thank you all you pioneers who have put the ingredients out there for all of us crunchies that are filing in a little later; we so appreciate it! My husband likes lavendar and lemon for smell but it is very light and so we are all using that mixture for now .My daughters want some other girly scents so we will be trying those in the coming weeks. I am so encouraged and did I say EXCITED? I will continue to keep you posted on my continued journey.To infinity and beyond! (I don't know LOL!) http://wellnessmama.com/1523/how-to-make-natural-deodorant

Milestones

Today I got to enjoy the fruit of a decision we made long ago; almost 13 years ago. It isn't the first time but each time we reach a milestone of one of our children I remember why we do life the way we do. The Vaughns are like many families we know now but not that we knew when we started out in our marriage. When we first married I always assumed that I would continue working outside of the home and the children would be in daycare and then school. Easy. Until one day I realized I didn't really like that idea as much as I thought. Thank goodness my husband didn't either. Hindsight 20/20 I don't believe we really thought I would never go back to work but it would be a season where I would stay home and watch the little people and then school would begin for them and I would go back to work. Well the little people kept coming(I don't know how that happens). Depending on one person for income in a growing family and a not so wonderful economy has definitely had lots of challenges. The military wasn't exactly a gold mine and since getting out employment has been *interesting*-yes let's call it that. Right now we are entering our 9th month of unemployment which I liken to maternity leave so I want to believe that the Father is ready to deliver us out of this very trying season. As you might imagine or maybe you are blessed in not being able to imagine what is like to literally be praying for tomorrow and how you were going to feed everyone in the house. Now before you start to feel bad for us this season has been one of remarkable growth for our family. We have seen our Father provide in remarkable ways and He has ALWAYS provided our daily bread. We have even had people offer to pay for something that was just fun for our family knowing that there was no way that would be part of our budget. I will honestly tell you that I am weary. Not always understanding why but trying to remain hopeful and believe that we are in a season not a life sentence. I have wondered -are we doing something wrong? I have even uttered those words that I hate so much -Why us?- only to answer for myself, as I always do -Why not YOU? I have cried and pouted. I have been angry and discouraged but mostly I have tried to walk knowing that we are loved and taken care of by the Creator of everything and I have nothing to fear. I hope people have seen a trusting smile more than they have seen broken tears. I pray I have been more faithful than not in pointing to my Father who keeps His promises. Today is one of those days when I get to be sure that it is not in vain as we labor. As I sat with my daughters, in the middle of our living room floor, my baby boy stood up and after practicing that for a while he took 3 shaky steps toward me! I am a mom of five and I have seen every first step of every one of my children; something that will never happen again. That is what this has been all about for me! I can't answer many questions about how we are making it from day to day. I can't answer why we had to be in the season we are in. Maybe one day I will be able to look back and express wisdom gained from a time when I was so uncertain of so many things but this I know is true:I was called to be mom to Bradley, Jhanna, Chloe, Jewel and Boaz and by the grace of the Almighty baby #6. No job could ever be as rewarding as I fashion my arrows everyday! The road is narrow, the struggles are real but the rewards are PRICELESS! I thank you today Father for blessing me to be here and not getting so caught up in fear that I went seeking to move out on my own and try to take things in my own hands. Your plans for us are perfect and we are learning to be abased just like we abound. Once again you provide so much joy; in the midst of hard times you allow us to rejoice and dance. You are our resting place and our manna in the desert. So long story short I saw Boaz take his first steps today and here we GO! Please pray that he would have beautiful feet that carry the message of our Savior wherever he may go.

Don't Know Much

When I first decided to blog, there were many things I wanted this blog to be. I wanted to have things in writing for just me. I wanted to share just in general. Because of my duties at home, I don't always feel I have the time to talk on the phone and I was hoping to make up for some of those times of connecting. I also wanted this to be a refuge for those who would come and have them remember the Father that we have who loves and walks and struggles with us through this life. I wanted that to be palpable. So I want the topics to be real and pertinent. That being said I read an article yesterday about the 5 most important things to remember to do in your marriage or something like that. I think marriage is one of the most pertinent topics on my list. It was a good reminder of some things. I take advice from most anywhere and try to pick through so I don't throw the meat out with the bones, so to speak. But of course after reading I started to take stock. How are Jonathan and I doing? Are we doing this thing right? Are we failing miserably but in denial? I think our marriage is in pretty good shape. There are always things to improve upon. Since we have been married something that has struck me is the amount of weddings we have attended. It's funny to now have my daughters watching me during a ceremony to see have I started crying yet. I used to watch television shows and wonder about that. Why do women cry at weddings? It's not sad! So why do I cry? Well let me tell you first about this last wedding we went to and prayerfully I can shed some light on this. The last wedding we attended was of a young lady who we love dearly and a young man we also love who come from families that we love and admire. We have been excited since the announcement. This was one wedding we would not have missed for anything! So sitting there, that lovely fall afternoon, the wedding began but not at all like any other wedding we had attended. Although all the people getting married that we have known have been believers these two young people had decided to model the coming of Messiah for His bride in their ceremony. So she waited at the alter for her groom to arrive. As the shofar blew he came forward and that was just the beginning. OK so as I start to tear up even now at the very thought of the picture they painted for us that day, I realized at that moment why I cry. I cry because I SEE. Growing up I don't remember attending very many weddings at all. A matter of fact I can count on my hand how many I went to. My parents marriage was not a good one. I also didn't see many marriages up close and personal that made me desire to be married. I wonder if my parents had known or seen what I did that day would it have helped them focus more on this very serious covenant we have called marriage. Weddings are a celebration, yes! Two people coming together to share their love and say to the world this is whom I will spend the rest of my life with. Beyond that, weddings have for me become a reminder of so much more. As I sit in the seat of the onlooker I am reminded of how Jonathan and I started. It was shaky. Not fairy tale at all. But what our Father has done is beyond wonderful! We see Him all through our years together. Two very clueless people slowly having this marriage mystery and the weight and depth of it revealed in every passing year. We are so aware of what we are modeling. We still don't get it right much of the times(I am more guilty of that than my husband), but we understand what this marriage is supposed to be so much more than just two people loving each other so much. Our love runs out. Weddings are a scope for us to look through and see through the eyes of our Creator. Weddings are an oasis where we can be refreshed and filled with the Love that is able to sustain a marriage. It will never be human love that can do that. As these two young people shared their vows, which were entirely from scripture I was moved to do something I wish I would have known to do when I married my wonderful groom. As I sat the next morning having my quiet time I felt led to write vows. Loving my husband was not something I really knew how to do in the beginning but as it is revealed to me I can start today or tomorrow whenever I get it. I don't have to continue in the direction i am going. When the Father reveals some way that I have not been loving Jonathan well I can vow right then. I can confess when I see the shortcoming and I ask for forgiveness from Jonathan or my children even, when they have been witness to my bad behavior. What I know is we can start today! Looking to our Creator and asking Him for guidance and forgiveness for the ways we fall short in modeling out marriage in a truly biblical way. We can start today loving better than we did yesterday and vowing to do what we may not have been doing for however long. I am so thankful for every couple that has had a ceremony that has encouraged me, convicted me, refreshed me in the relationship that I cherish most on this earth. I love Jonathan, my groom! Besides my Savior he is my most precious treasure in this world. Today I vow to be better at loving, honoring, and respecting him than I did yesterday. Looking back over the article, that was the meat. Be intentional about your marriage and don't let it ever be something that is not a priority. Marriage is hard work and takes two people who are willing to do the work. Most importantly, I think if you are not able to SEE what marriage is really about and understand what we are to be mirroring in our marriages, you are doomed to fall short more than succeed. Our own love,in our own strength is not enough;it never has been and never will be.

Going Back to Start Again

After not writing for quite a while, I have been inspired and encouraged by some recent events to start writing again. Not because I believe I am a fantastic writer but because I got to see that I was blessing someone and that my Father was getting the glory out of my little thoughts and my little life. I really did want this to be a place where I could share my genuine love for my heavenly Father and the life that He is unfolding on this Walk of Faith. So where to begin? Two years is a lot of life to put into words. I do want to catch up on one really important event, which is the additions to our family. Last time I wrote we were a "little" family of 6. Now we are a family of 7 with the addition of Boaz our newest bundle as of January 2013. And by the end of this summer we will, in my mind, be officially a big family of 8. Having children is always a blessing and an event worth celebrating but for us having Boaz and the announcement of this new baby is an answer to much prayer.In 2006, as far as we were concerned we had a big family with addition of baby 4. So what happened to us? Our families think we have lost our minds! And if I could tell you how many comments about being done we have gotten, or the stares! Somewhere we jumped on the road to peculiar. "But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should show forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvelous light." And I am glad to say we can't seem to find our way back! Although we thought this chapter had come to a close, we were so totally wrong! This chapter was just no longer being written by our hands. (you know cause the other chapters were). This is a little of our testimony: a story of a heavenly Father who is patient and gentle and loving and who rewards us when we choose to obey and trust and one that can be found when you truly seek Him.

In August of 2011, in the wee hours of the morning, we dropped our children off with sweet friends and headed off to Oklahoma for a very serious matter. We were on what we consider to be a mission from our Father or maybe for our Father. Before you give me a side eye glance just hear me out. Before we moved to the great state of Texas we lived in Virginia and found out about a doctor who was in Oklahoma. He was a specialist but not something that you would hear about frequently,ok maybe never! See, my husband didn't have a disease or a condition but he had made a decision a few years before that since, he has been convicted about and sought counsel on the best way to handle repentance. If we believe repentance is changing our direction, how would it work in this case? Well after much prayer and counsel and searching out options, a doctor appeared who would be able to take care of our problem. Let me tell what our problem was. The problem that we created. My husband had a vasectomy.Some call it getting fixed we now consider it just the opposite. We believed, at the time, we had 4 children and that was a great number and AFFORDABLE! Who can afford more than 4 children in today's economy? We would have to be pretty wealthy to have THAT many children. We are NOT wealthy. We are regular people sometimes wondering how we might afford this or that. We have sacrificed many a luxury because we have chosen a more traditional household. I have a had a couple of odd jobs here and there but Jonathan is the sole provider for our family. BUT if we are Believers and are supposed to have the mind of our Redeemer? what does the Father actually say about children? What are His thoughts and what has he told us should be our thoughts in regard to how many is too many? I realize that I/we had not consulted our Father about having children; hadn't really thought about Him being the One who created the life. The culture in which we live leads us to believe these are our choices and it is in our hands. We are in control. It was always our actions and the right time and look what happens. But it doesn't happen like that for everyone. We were blessed! Because there is only One who creates a life, makes my body fit to carry that life and brings that life forth. It is all for His purpose and His plan. And even that miscarriage I had....yeah that was still Him. I don't have all the answers, but I know that for years we just put Him in the background pretending He was not the active force and so we thought we had a right to try to help Him out. So in August of 2011 we changed and did all we knew to try and submit to a plan that we did not have the details of and show Him that we were giving back control to the One who had it all along. We didn't know what to expect honestly. Obedience was our main goal; to turn back to Him. Telling our Father that we were sorry and fixing what we broke was all we were thinking about that day. And then we would wait. And we did wait. And in the meantime we took some adoption classes and fostering classes because, well maybe that would really be the way the Father fixed what we broke and we could grown our family that way. But in April of 2012 I walked outside to tell my husband I thought we just might need a pregnancy test. We named our gift, that we know, without a shadow of a doubt, comes from above Boaz Jachin, which means In strength Yahweh establishes!(in case we should ever forget!Forget what He has done for us in giving us 5 beautiful babies to raise for Him and His glory! Forget that once upon a time having no children was a very real option for me. Forget that He has provided all of our NEEDs according to His riches in glory! Forget that children are an heritage of Adonai and the fruit of the womb is His reward and that blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them! So you are caught up, at least a little. I am thankful to have a chance to share and hope you pray for me to stay the course.