Nothing for my journey

I have been so worried about trying to keep this blog on some respectable and conservative level but my life is not always that. There are things that concern me that some may consider trivial. Some things may seem controversial or sometimes I may seem a little strange. I don't want to be "free in a closet" here. (Thanks Nicole) So I have to let go of some of my worries in order for me to be happy with the results of this place where I share and pray that my honesty will do what it has always done. FREE ME! John 8:36 So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed!Rev 12:11 And they overcame him by the blood of the Lamb, and by the word of their testimony and they loved not their lives until death. Possibly this process may help others be a little more free as well

I made a comment to a friend the other day: "When we drove out of Chicago G-d was laughing because of what was in store for us". I have this visual of my heavenly Father giggling and shaking his head at the joy of what we were in for and how unaware (ignorant) we were of the adventure that we were beginning. I am happy to say I have never had a dull moment since I met the L-rd. I am also happy to say that he has given me such wonderful perspective to see things in ways that make me so thankful for whatever the adventure looks like at the moment. I don't always do it immediately but it doesn't take long before my attitude adjust and I am riding the wave instead of struggling against it. I would like to say that it is spiritual maturity but you might need to ask those around me because I could be a beast and be in total denial. OK so what is the point? The point is this blog is a part of the journey that will help me to keep tabs on other parts of my journey. Right now I see my life as being very close to two of those really big drops on the monstrous roller coasters that are in the top 10 of all roller coasters.

The first drop is ADOPTION! G-d has been quietly screaming at us about adoption for about 1 year. Don't get me wrong we are not being disobedient we just wanted to make sure it was Him and not us doing this leading. I will get into more details about the beauty that is adoption later but the more I pray, the more people are put in my path, the more I see myself as this beautifully adopted daughter of the Most High. That leads me strangely (I already covered the strange issue) to the second drop which is growing the straightener out of my hair. Because I am adopted(Romans 8:15b but you have received the Spirit of adoption)I have many sisters and brothers who may or may not look like me and that has given me the desire to make sure that the way I look is exactly the way my Father intended. In looking like the beautiful unique person He made when I am surrounded by my family the complete tapestry is so much more intricately gorgeous. G-d did not come to save all vanilla people or caramel people or chocolate people or any flavor in between. (I hate white and black and so you will not hear me use those terms here.) He came to SAVE to the utmost.
I also am constantly telling my children especially my girls how beautiful they are from the crowns of their heads to the bottom of their feet so if I am trying to alter my appearance what am I really "saying" to them about what I really think of how they look. I talk about resonating thematically and in my mind being genuine and truthful about who G-d created Angela to be, inside and out, is one of the best ways I can honor my Father because "G-d don't make no junk!" We are fearfully and wonderfully made and we are all so beautiful to Him and if we love Him we will revel in the lovely children who are our family. So with butterflies in my stomach as we make this climb I peer over the side of the car looking excited and a little frightened at how high we are up off the ground and anticipating what I know is coming. I look a little nervous but I know the way down will be THRILLING and OH SO WORTH IT!

The Drummer

One thing I find so interesting about G-d is how He gives vision... if you are seeking his will. Sometimes that vision doesn't really add up in your manner of thinking but you continue to press because you can just "feel" it is Him and not you. So when, after moving from Chicago, we started meeting people and having relationships with people and visiting peoples' homes we were a little baffled as to why we were being drawn to certain families that seemed so very different from us and what we had always known. One of the very first of these was a family where the dad was going to be leaving his job in just a few months to head up the family farm business and there were 11 people, 9 of them children, living under one roof. After a wonderful dinner with this family my husband and I felt for sure there was "a change a coming".
My husband and I both grew up on the busy city streets of Chicago. I had grown up being satiated by the excitement of the city. That only grew as I got older. There never had to be a dull, quiet moment in the city. I had travelled quite a bit as a child and went away to college so I had seen some places and really often thought it would be wonderful to live in another "city". After my husband joined the military, we knew we most certainly wouldn't stay in Chicago but really had no indication that coming back would not be part of our long term plans. What else was part of OUR plans? Me working outside the home had quickly been thrown out with the trash. I think that was one of those things G-d let us think was our idea until I tried to go back to work later and we found out who had really been the author of that decision. He really does have a sense of humor. We had wanted children. We had 4; a big family by today's standards. But were today's standards G-d's standards? The next matter to arise was educating our children at home. What does that mean? What about socialization??(side joke for all other parents of unsocialized homeschoolers)Is that legal??? I know now that it is because we do educate our children at home but at the time I had only heard of one person even mention it. The list does not stop there but those are some of the majors. Fast forward a few years Jonathan's job moves us to Texas. We had no doubt in our minds that we wanted to have a home in the country and try raising? chickens, maybe. And so here we are in the first phase of that process. We have our home in the country with a little bit of land and as we start our research on planting for the spring and getting some laying hens it makes me think honestly who are these people? What is really going on here? As I watched my children come out of the house the other day with their homemade flags and weapons they had made (they were doing a reenactment of the fighting that went on between Spain and France over Florida in the 16th century)I realized that G-d was accomplishing His work in our lives and in theirs. They have totally embraced this life that "we" are chiseling out for them and are very content. Romans 12:2 NLT "Don't copy the behaviors and customs of this world, but let G-d transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God's will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect." Had you asked me 10 years ago what I thought my life would look like I am not sure what I would have answered. I know the life that I have would not have been my answer. We are different. You could say we march to the beat of a different drummer. The bible says KJV Pater 2:19 "But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people that ye should shew forth the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light." We have been called out. For us we were called out of the city first and after that we continued to be called to be different. Different from the world around us, the "world" we grew up in, the "world" where we were comfortable because we look just like everyone else. There are times when I struggle and think it would be so much easier to "fit" in. But I know in the end it wasn't me who came up with this vision for my life. My Father who art in Heaven thought enough to plan this life out because he wanted me to have the desires of my heart; desires that He gave to me before I even knew them for myself. He was changing our thinking and putting people in front of us so we could see what was possible for us. I desired a loving husband, a peaceful home full of laughter, and happy children to take care of and to pour myself into. I don't know what is next there are things that I desire to see in my life and home, but I know that in the end I "shall be like Him". There will always be distractions and noise so I continue to turn my ears to listen because I will only march to His rhythm. How about you? All G-d's children Step in Time!